Creating worry

Last week was good. After a really, really bad July (I was operated on and in a cast, feeling miserable and THEN I lost my wedding and engagement rings earning me the title of ‘worst wife ever’) I have found August to be golden. Couldn’t get much worse than July I suppose.

I have have finished a preliminary draft of my literature review, all 21,000 words (without a lot of the connecting paragraphs.) I also have a rough draft of my methodology chapter, but I’m finding this is a moving target as I’m still determining exactly how I’m going to approach things. 

Then my faculty had a HDR training day which gave me lots of new ideas and energy.

AND I got my ethics approval, so after I see my supervisor tomorrow I can start my first round of interviews. 

Today I’m mocking up my first draft of my doctoral assessment presentation. And I’m also presenting at the HDR conference in November, as a practise for potential conference papers and publications in 2015. Now I can start collecting data I feel I may have something to write about.

It’s all very exciting.

So why am I worried?

Last week when I caught up with my cohort many mentioned that I was much further along than they were. Admittedly I had 6 months last year to do preliminary reading and I feel that I’ve been mentally preparing for this experience for about 5 years. 

Most of my colleagues are planning to do their stage one assessment early next year, yet I want mine complete by October 31 (driven by the fact that’s when scholarship applications are due and I really, really need a scholarship for the remainder of my program and this is the last chance.)

To be so far ahead, not just in terms of reading an writing, but in terms of clarity of process and research question, makes me think I’m missing some major chunk of the process.

Don’t get me wrong, I hardly think I am speeding through this, but I do feel that it is progressing almost too closely to plan.  My supervisor, who is great, is so supportive, but I am waiting for the critical penny to drop.

Or am I just making worries for myself? Now I’m just worrying about worrying.


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